“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Reminded twice about this verse today..

Once when I jux kindly gave a gentle reminder to my jie to inform mei when she wore her slippers to sch today. It was REALLI REALLI GENTLE.. Like my normal conversing tone.. What's her tone? *Backlash* *Rain of terror* *Flames spewing from a dragon's mouth*... Which left me with a puzzled face.. Only God knows what's going on in her head.. She's getting too defensive these days.. Dont know why.. God I juz wish that she stops this habit of being suddenly so defensive.. I dont even know how to talk to her anymore..

Twice was when my mei was on e phone wid my mum.. She juz conveniently said that e both of us would want to walk to a coffeeshop 7 min walk away to have dinner wid mum.. Fact is, she didnt even ask mi if i wanted to anot??!! How can I not be angry?? N when I told her that I didnt wanna go out anymore, guess wat?? She even told my mum (LOUDLY): "U see ur son.. He's so spoilt to even go out.." I EXPLODED with anger!! Shouted back at her.. Nearly wanted to say the F word.. Was so tempted to bang the door.. These voices that I was hearing.. "Bang the door! Scold her with ur arsenal of words!! Quarrel!! Confront!! Fight for what's right!!..." then I heard this still small voice.. "Come to Me.. Control yourself.. You're e only Christian here.."

N just when I was typing this, I was actually intending on not talking to her until she apologises, when God spoke with Ephesians 4:16. ""In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,"

I realli hope that all this is cos i'm being put on the anvil of God.. Sometimes, I realli feel tired.. Tired for thinking bout others' walk in God.. Bout whether I should do things.. To search for other answers when there's only one.. To have hope when things dont seem to happen.. I'm tired.. There's so many things that I want to tell you face to face.. I juz dun seem to get e opportunity.. But still, I know I cannot quit.. I know that others depend on me.. I know that I promised u that I'll be there for you.. I know that even though you've lost my contact, when u need my help i will still be there.. I know that i'm in training.. I know that my God is wid me.. I'm leaving the world behind me tonight.. If its God's will, u will read this.. If its not, what can I say...

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